You're Not Stuck. You're Afraid.

Are you stuck? Or is it self-sabotage? Do you really not know where you want to go and what you want to do? Or are you just saying that so you don’t have to do those things?

These are important questions that we must explore honestly. Most people are not where they want to be because they don’t actually want to be there. To go “there” or become “that” would mean too much disruption to the comforts of their life… even if that means staying in toxic/unhealthy patterns.

Also, we can get stuck because of an unconscious loyalty to the stories and limiting beliefs of our families, friends, culture and community. We don’t want to outgrow them or mature beyond their capacity for health and intimacy out of an unconscious dedication to maintaining a dysfunctional human system. Our role in that system is to keep it going… to stay the same so the system operates the same.

Becoming all we are, having boundaries, stepping towards our dreams, and saying “yes” to our potential puts us (un)consciously at social risk. We risk being criticized and exiled, and our membership to the group cancelled. These are the real costs of being real. There’s no two ways about it… To minimize the power that belonging has for shaping behaviour is to bypass all the ways in which people have sold out their principles and values to not “disrupt” those around them.

But freedom is actually derived from being free to be all of you. It’s to align your life with YOUR values. It’s to look at the tensions and frictions of your life and get really real: Are you actually living in integrity with your values, your desires, and the intuitive direction your soul is calling you towards?

You know when you gossip and you feel sick in your stomach? You know when you go to work you hate? You know when you continue to deny the doubt you have about your relationship, your health, and your relationship with substances? When you do all of those things you are denying your essence. You are ignoring valuable information that is trying to direct your life.

We can spend hours of therapy and coaching trying to get to WHY you won’t choose whatever it is you want, or what is “wrong” with you that you desire more, or where you learned to bypass what you know in your soul to accommodate those around you…

OR

We can see you as brilliant. We can see the things you’re avoiding confronting as the gateways to your liberation. We can see that trying to find why you are the way you don’t want to be is preventing you from just being who and what you desire.

You are ultimately a collection of your choices. Your worth is correlated to the alignment of those choices to your values. If you make any choice that violates the sacredness of your being, you’re not going to love yourself.

The anxiety and depression created from this are not because you’re broken, they’re because you’re not listening.

Listen. Choose.

You already know.

And stop trying to “fix” yourself. That pursuit reinforces you’re broken.

Just become.

Stop delaying.

Start.

Now.

For fucks sake.