I was recently watching a friend of mine, Kristin Hallett, speaking about death and what it means to truly live. Kristin works with people exploring how they want to be remembered… whether that’s accompanying them on their way out, or working with someone who today wants to embrace living a life with no regrets.
I went out to brunch the other day with a female friend & I think the unwritten rule is that it's an excuse to look all cute for girls+
I wore a green dress with flowers and a fascinator leftover from the Kentucky Derby.
I didn't want to wear it at first. I thought this is too much, too over the top. But, I wore it anyways. And the funny thing is, it attracted people to talking to me that were like, oh I love that fascinator. So thus, the vibe attracts your tribe became very true that day.
I think that's what it means to be alive. Doing the brave thing even when it's scary - no matter how big or small. Having courage to advocate for yourself. Speaking your truth.
While at Ojo Caliente this winter, on a freezing January day, my friend and I were standing on the edge of the cold plunge contemplating if we could get in. A beautiful older native woman walked by, flanked by her two daughters, and whispered "do it - you are alive". We jumped in and it has been my mantra from that moment forward, embracing this life, celebrating change, and acknowledging the gift of those words that literally brought me back into my being.
It took my boyfriend and I breaking up for me to see that I wasn’t living. He was the love of my life, the greatest love that my husband of 16 years never was. And three weeks after our breakup, I wonder why he wanted me in the first place. I choose living, life, and healing slowly is what’s getting me there.
I needed to hear this today. Made me smile and made me sad. I lost my father and husband 8 years ago. They both lived everyday so large. So full of amazing energy and service to others. Challenging themselves often to step up their "game of life" They had spirits that were contagious and smiles and kindness that lit a room on fire. My healing journey has been long, sad and filled with searching for "my next" modality to lift my spirits back to feeling whole. I've always been someone that holds back, cheers others on ...while playing small because of fear that lives deep inside of me. I know it's time to make some big shifts and to start living more like these two men modeled in their lives. The knowing is here, but my movement towards this knowing is the speed of a snail. See you in Tofino where I'm sure will lift me to higher ground and a new sense of LIVING !!!
I began the morning with walking my dog while listening to Mark's podcast, The Alchemy of Initiation. Francis Weller's humble, tired voice spoke of all the things that have been depressing me greatly, but how transformative these "things" (e.g. our planet's demise, my impending divorce, consumerism, my mother's death, etc) or these initiations, can be. My airpods died as my dog and I were watching the herons. It was quiet, a woman passed by, and because I wasn't lost in my podcast, we spoke. She happened to be a hospice nurse, and I shared with her my experience with my mother's last moments as I attempted to help her In Between. Now this wonderful message about Kristin Hallett. Thank you for putting these people into my life, and for putting yourself into it too. I am listening.
“Let it be a good death “ every time I witness the ego dying . It’s like walking out of the crab shell that no longer fits , walking toward a new one and not yet knowing how beautifully Everything will fit once I reach it . This so what integration and upleveling “feel “ like 💫 ☠️
I’m in!! I spent the last 6 months supporting my soulmate to his end of life at the age of 52. I had that final conversation of saying goodbye and letting go of the man I loved. Through Jeroen’s death, it’s made me realize the finality of death. That’s it. One minute we are here the next we are gone. The silence without him is unbearable and I miss him. But it has made me see with such clarity how we need to live every moment to the fullest. To go get those dreams we may be putting off for another day. I’m inspired to live through Jeroen’s passing and do the things we dreamed of doing together. He has been my greatest teacher and I am grateful for the lessons. As I write these words I feel the tears. Thank you Jeroen 🙏
I believe people get dulled down because of the old system. When there is unhealthy fear and control governing the narrative and status quo, it’s more difficult for people to fully express and embrace the truth of who they are- which should equal a brilliant and beautiful embodiment and life.
“All of our times have come. Here, but now they are gone. Seasons don’t fear the reaper. Nor do the sun, the wind or the rain. We can be like they are, ready to fly.”- very fitting Mark!
Fitting in my world, our world. This was my last song added to my playlist yesterday! A classic I have loved since a teen.
I was always good at getting back on my feet. Lately I keep breaking my ankles. So many funeral pyres. The last couple years have been the toughest in my life!
I kept getting up as always but 5 steps forward- 10 steps back. This time I think I landed on my feet!
This death feels like my whole life just led to here. A climax.
✨I demand I let go of......letting others tell me what is best for me.
✨I step into.....trusting my self fully, my innate intelligence.
Don’t fear the reaper. ❤️
Since my father was diagnosed with cancer I started to practice meditation often. I felt overwhelmed about this thought about the death, about the ending and how to be prepared not only for a lost of a family member, but being prepared for my death. Meditation improved my life, because it's a form to start feeling presence, I started to feel more alive. My perspective of life has changed a lot, my heart open more and I discovered that is full of gratitude and love. I don't know if someday I will be prepared to death, but I know that I need to keep cultivating love, peace, patience and kindness in order to heal and help others, and maybe in my last day being found in that state.
Thank you for all your helpful content, I really appreciate your work and perspective.
My StepDad was diagnosed with cancer, 5 days later he died. It was brutal. I promised him I’d live every day to my fullest! I guess when he died, I saw all the years I’d wasted attached to my childhood traumas and ‘problems’. I was choosing to suffer rather than to see the work I’d done and the healing that had taken place. His death brought me to life. A brutal awakening, which I’m grateful for!
I'd just finished writing out all I desire in my relationship and my days, and the ways in which I have to first be/embody/embrace what it is I hope for. And then I saw this essay and the timing was perfect synchronicity. I copied down so many lines in my journal- don't worry, I gave you credit:) So now the more difficult practice of letting go/stepping into. Thank you for your words.
Wow, I needed to hear this so much today. Mark, thank you.
I received this email a long while back but I didn't open it. At the time I received it my Dad had just passed away suddenly. Shortly after his passing I lost a dear friend (my age) to a very aggressive cancer. I just wasn't sure I could handle the content of the post during this time. I decided it wasn't the right time to open it but rather to save it for later. I continued to forward it to myself in my over crowded inbox. 71 days later... today was the day that I finally opened and read it. It was in perfect timing. I had someone ask me this week... "with all that you have been through this year how can you still be so happy?" To witness death so close was incredibly painful for me. I trust I will never be the same and I am OK with that. It has made me truly live everyday...well almost everyday. Some days I want to crawl into a grief hole and cry until the tears run dry or until I feel nothing. The next day I wake up and feel alive again. Colors seem brighter, hugs feel better, laughs can make my entire day! The company of my friends and family feel like such a blessing from God. Conversations with strangers have became so incredibly meaningful. Rain feels like sunshine and sunshine feels like gold. I am finally living. In actual death life came for me. I am not even sure what I was doing before all this. The time/year prior to my Dad's and my friends passing feels like a million years ago. Here I am today still navigating through my grief but feeling so incredibly grateful and ALIVE.
Unfortunately I have responsibilities that stop me from having that feeling of “alive” as I would define it. So I plan events, vacations, celebrations with family and compartmentalize the mundane...by leaving it behind and allow myself to feel that aliveness in those special moments. I would love to learn how to take that “alive” feeling and somehow transform it into those work/responsibilities moments just haven’t figured that out yet.