You Need to Cross the Bridge Yourself

Noone can do it for you.

Recently, I was speaking to a client, and she was saying, “What strategies can I use to choose differently? I know I’m worthy of love… yet I keep choosing these circumstances that make me feel unloved.”

Sound familiar? Wanting and knowing something, yet not being able to choose that thing?!

And that thing usually brings us more peace, confidence, love, courage, self-worth… and on top of all of that juiciness, it creates regulation in our nervous system.

Despite that knowing—that it is the path to our peace and truth, and alignment—we just seem not. be. able. to. do. it.

Look, learning about the pattern is important. Understanding where it comes from adds context and compassion… it makes us realize that when we are in what is a freeze response from the nervous system, that it’s not our fault!

The truth is that you choosing the same thing you know, even if it hurts, is brilliant! It is what you know! You know that on some level, you can handle the betrayal, the hurt, the rejection, the abandonment…

But, to choose differently…. woahhhhhhh. That’s scary… even if it moves you towards health, happiness, healing, and of course, if it restores your integrity with your own values.

Here’s what I told her, and I want to tell you… No amount of psychotherapy, coaching, somatic therapy, books or personal growth programs can DO the hard thing for you.

All of this stuff can prepare you… And a lot of people spend their whole lives in the consumption of information about the pattern, while NEVER changing it.

Many small changes. Maybe moving more and more towards it. But not putting it to bed.

Of course, the first question you must ask yourself is, “What is the positive benefit I’m getting from staying in this pattern?”

The answer is usually something like:

• I don’t have to change.

• I get to hold on to my hurt and suffering, and hold blame and contempt for the person (people) who created the original injury.

• I don’t have to get uncomfortable.

• I don’t have to become truly vulnerable ever again.

Holding on to wounds allows us to attempt to hold on to the pace of life.

Letting go and becoming everything that you can be, can feel like a free-fall… we can feel ourselves grasping for something to slow down the unfolding of life.

But here’s the thing — if you’re not changing, you are dying.

This client said to me, “Just put me in prison and save me from myself.”

To which I replied, “Your pattern is your prison.”

You built the walls. You hold the key.

And from a compassionate place, you built them to protect yourself… but now they’re actually blocking you from the love you desire, and the true potential of your being.

I know it. You know it.

So let’s stop pretending you're stuck or you need another book.

You need to walk across that bridge.

We can watch you. We can cheer you on. We (those who want to see you win) can meet you on the other side. But it is YOUR bridge to walk. And the reason you have to walk it alone is to witness yourself do it. You need to hear your own voice stand for yourself. You need to hear your own feet walking away from what doesn’t align, and walking towards the magic you know awaits you.

I can tell you about the magic. I can mirror to you your possibilities. I can yell from the rooftops.

But the only way you’ll ever know your power is to live it.

No book, course, or teacher can give you that.

You have to be it.

So go do the thing you know you need to do in order to become the person you’ve always known existed… who only exists from you walking the path life is presenting.

Have the hard convo. Do the hard thing. Put on your adult pants. Become the badass embodiment of your soul and highest potential.

You got this.