What If You Fail?

My friend sent this quote to me this week and I felt every word deeply.

I, like you, worry about life and what lives in the unknown. It is normal for us to think about all of the things that could go wrong with our lives. If you think about it, you and I are only here because our ancestors saw the tiger. They weren’t busy smelling roses and dreaming, they were prioritizing survival. 

I say that so you can recognize that the fear of leaping and trusting your heart is in your DNA. It’s normal to not leap. It’s not a problem with you, much like the adaptive strategies you have from childhood aren’t. All of the skills and ways of being were necessary to get you and I here, to this moment.

Maybe we can take a step back from our behaviours and our fears and ask, “Is this serving me? Is this thinking and way of being liberating me, or keeping me imprisoned? Are my choices growing me? Or keeping me the same?"

Ambivalence is self-sabotage. Being “stuck” is self-sabotage. Indecision is self-sabotage. Avoidance is self-sabotage.

These are all the freeze response. They’re our nervous system saying… "We can’t hold change. It’s too scary. Let’s stay safe. Even though safe is really hurting us. Even though “safe” is not really safe, it’s just certain.” (And sometimes it is actual safety, so not minimizing that.)

Man, I feel that. I don’t write this to you to infer shame, but for me, alongside you, to be with what is real. To recognize the role we play in our own lives… that we often don’t let ourselves be happy. We don’t let ourselves stand in the truth of our desires. We don’t let ourselves live.

I heard about a shared acquaintance who passed away recently, and I just thought to myself, “I cannot look back on my life and not have fully lived. I can’t look back and think, when I had the chance I didn’t take it. I can’t look back and know that I consciously chose to ignore pain that was telling me I know better… that I actually know the direction to go, I just don’t like it. I don’t like what it requires."

Loss has a way of reminding us of that. And so does our suffering. 

We are always being invited to become greater… and not greater in an egoic sense, but greater in that we are bringing our whole soul into the world. Healing the ways we protect ourselves from hurt so we can open ourselves to love. It feels like a coming home to ourselves and our souls. It feels like a cozy fire...

You coming fully alive is in service of all of those who have the honour of being loved by you.

I know this can be counterintuitive because your voice, your boundaries, your desires, they might cause quite a stir. They will shake the system. All the systems.

But that’s evidence what you’re doing is working.

Okay, maybe you need to hone your skills. Reclamation is almost never a smooth or easy process. It’s gritty. Maybe you need to adjust your delivery. Maybe you need to be more mindful of how what you’re claiming impacts others and allow them their experience. But not collapse in response to the friction you create by standing in all that you are. Stand. Don’t shrink.

Life is about learning. And it’s about giving birth to what is inside you.

It’s time to stop hiding. It’s time to breathe capacity into your nervous system. Hand on your heart and say, “Okay. We got this. I’m ready to lean into change. What I know to be true is ______."

When we claim a truth that has not been acknowledged, and step into the reality of where we are, who we are being, what we’ve been tolerating, and what we truly desire, we will never be the same. We begin (continue) the adventure of moving towards who we want to be, where we want to be, and what we’re committed to creating.

Deleting my Instagram is for sure in my top most crazy decisions. But there’s an exhilaration of running towards what’s possible instead of away from what we know.

Can you feel it? I can. And I want to know what your great delete is. I want to know what you’re ready to choose?

If you haven’t done it yet, make sure you subscribe to my podcast here (it links to all the platforms) and also to my YouTube here.

And if you haven’t listened to my latest episode, it really is a must. I think it will stir something in you… something you need, and the world needs through you.

Much love,

Mark