Sitting in the Messy Middle

More being, less doing.

To change is equated with action.

It’s equated with doing.

Under this premise, if one of your core values is growth, you’ll confuse growth with having to be working on something constantly.

But transformation sometimes doesn’t look how we think it looks… we see the setback or the relapse as taking us back to where we started… but the truth about change is that it doesn’t always feel good.

And setbacks and triggers and relapses offer windows into spaces that need our presence, not more action.

Addictions aren’t about the substance, they’re about the state the substance numbs us from. The trigger isn’t about the reactivity, it’s about the tender space the trigger inhabits. The relapse isn’t about the “failure,” it’s about the bridge it builds deeper into the recesses of your soul, offering you the opportunity to see yourself swimming in shame and choose love… again and again.

This seems counterintuitive, though, doesn’t it?

“So you’re saying I can create change and transformation by not doing anything?! WHAT?”

Yes. Because if you’re used to doing, and the doing comes from the deep belief that something is broken within you that needs fixing, the doing feeds the belief of brokenness.

But you don’t need to do anything to have value. Your value as a human is innate. Your birth is a miracle. Your heartbeat is an act of courage. Your breath is an act of surrender… over and over and over again.

You are one exhale from the end, and yet, you choose to come back.

The caterpillar doesn’t become a butterfly by butterflying. It becomes it by trusting the process of its own stillness. The Universe calls for it to take up rest on a leaf… it doesn’t know why, it just knows it has been called.

You have been called. And yet, social media and all the addictions in the world will prevent you from taking up residence on your version of a leaf. You deny the medicine you know to get the superficial medicine that feeds off the pain of your neglect of your sacredness.

I don’t say this to shame you, but rather to bring awareness to the gloriousness of your being — that you are meant to not only step fully into the world, as your most brilliant self… But also sit back, observe, and allow yourself to be… just as you are.

Through this beautiful journey of life, I keep coming back to this simple truth: Metamorphosis occurs in the stillness.

Here’s to being still.

And being with ourselves.

And loving the painful, messy middle where we are both dying and being born.

A process that takes patience.

Much love.