I heard the first line from the poem above a couple of weeks ago and I was so touched by it. Love is scary… and to love what death can touch is the hardest thing for us humans to do. And yet, it is in the very fabric of our existence that death touches what contains life.
I’ve thought a lot about how courageous it is to love what we can, and will inevitably lose. But loss is a necessary part of the human experience. And while we may think it is escapable by avoiding relationships, I would argue that is an illusion.
Because even if you avoid love to avoid losing it because you couldn’t stand the idea of holding the pain of losing someone you love again, you are inevitably losing out on the opportunity to share love. You are losing out on what your soul is always calling you towards.
My solution to this conundrum is not to send you into the dragon’s den and tell you to just “love all out” and “wear your heart on your sleeve.” It’s to tell you to learn from where you have experienced loss. Ask your pain what skills you could learn to honour your losses. Master grief. Connect to the truths of the pains of your life. Do not avoid them, because avoiding those pains is what has you avoiding love.
And maybe, most importantly, run towards love that runs towards you.
Lastly — I know of a lot of people who’ve lost people they love recently. Partners, friends, parents, grandparents, children. Some have died, some have become strangers.
The life we choose to live and what’s possible for us becomes incredibly clear when we sense the fleeting nature of life. In essence, the confrontation of death and loss can be what most inspires us to live. So, I want to remind you — do not waste the losses you’ve had in your life. Do not let them rob you of the life force still pouring through your veins. Use them as a reason to come so fully alive and step into everything that’s possible for you.
What part of your life is waiting to be fully lived?
Much love,
Mark
P.S. Come see me LIVE in Austin, Texas on September 14th! I'm hosting an epic event designed to help you navigate life's changes with grace, confidence and courage. There's also limited VIP tickets available which includes a dinner with me after the event! Get your tickets here before they sell out!
Loss has been a huge theme in my life as cancer took my mother in 2023 and trauma took some friends and brothers. The reality of impermanence and death are something I feel aware of in my every breath now. Not that I am consumed by death. But more so guided to live more fully because death is inevitable and I can’t un-feel that. Thanks so much for this post!