Discover more from Mark’s Newsletter
Have you ever woken up in a relationship (or after you just got out of one) and asked yourself questions like, “When did I forget about me?” Or, “When was the last time I even considered what I wanted or what I needed?!”
This is typical of so many of us. Why? Because, more often than not, it’s what’s modelled for us! We’re taught in childhood, either explicitly or implicitly, to abandon ourselves for love. That you should give away who you are, silence your voice, not pursue your passions, and stay connected to other people over staying connected to yourself. We’re taught not to upset others or rock the boat and, instead, maintain the connection at all costs. Then, we grow up and find ourselves in relationships where we put everyone ahead of ourselves by trying to please everybody, trying to take care of everybody, trying to save people, saying yes when we want to say no… and we continue to repeat these relationship patterns, whether in the same relationship or with different people. Cue resentment and anger — these are great indicators of putting everyone ahead of yourself.
If you see yourself in any of the above — welcome to the club! This is how I operated for much of my life: over-functioning, people-pleasing, and ignoring my needs to my detriment. As long as everyone else was happy, I was “okay.” But was I thriving? Definitely not. Codependent? 100%.
The good news is that you CAN change, and I am living proof due to my ongoing journey of doing the inner work necessary to end the unsatisfying cycle and kick codependency to the curb. A huge part of this journey was discovering the work of Melody Beattie almost a decade ago, namely, her bestselling book Codependent No More. And this week, it feels as if my healing journey has come full circle because I am honoured to have had Melody on the podcast!
A self-help pioneer, Melody Beattie is the author of many bestselling books — including The Language of Letting Go, Playing It by Heart, The Grief Club, Beyond Codependency, and The Codependent No More Workbook. In 2009, Newsweek named Codependent No More one of the four essential self-help books of all time.
Melody’s compassionate and insightful look into codependency — the concept of losing oneself in the name of helping another — has guided millions toward the understanding that they are powerless to change anyone but themselves and that caring for the self is where healing begins. So if you struggle with overgiving and overdoing and want to instead pour your energy into creating your BEST life, you’re going to want to check out this episode with Melody.
Tune in to discover….
What codependency actually means, and how we can unknowingly fall into its trap
Melody's incredible journey of overcoming codependency and how she turned her life around, finding freedom and happiness along the way
The importance of setting boundaries with technology and social media, and why connecting with real people is where it's at for our well-being
Tips and tricks to break free from addictive and enabling cycles, empower yourself to make positive changes and embark on a journey of personal growth and healing
Tune into the episode here, and be sure to subscribe to the podcast, too, so you don’t miss any of the 🔥 episodes I have coming down the pipeline.
Breaking Free from Codependency
Have listened to it twice so far, aaaand ordered the book, haha. Thank you Mark for all you do. Much love.
Her book “Codependent no more” changed my life in showing me why I had these patterns and started me on a journey to healing as have you Mark! Thank you for choosing to do this work and using your voice!