Boundaries Are Beautiful

And pretty sexy.

People trust people who have boundaries.

This is a strange paradox to hold because the absence of boundaries is sourced from the need to people-please... so when one decides to bring boundaries into their lives and/or their workplace, the fear is that the relationships will shift, and they may lose connections.

This can be true.

And, the connections that stay in your life will have to reorganize around the new you.

When we're boundary-less, our lives are organized around everyone else... and there are often a lot of people (including our workplaces) that benefit from us over-giving and over-extending ourselves.

In contrast, when we have boundaries, our lives are centred around our values and ourselves.

This is why we often feel "selfish" when we bring boundaries into our lives. This is because we've identified as "selfless" to support our survival strategy of trying to keep everyone happy and perform for love. We've lacked a "self," so developing and honouring a "self" can feel strangely overwhelming. We grieve that we've forgotten about ourselves.

Healthy relationships NEED boundaries. And healthy adults, with good relational skills, respect the people they're in relationship with when they express what they need, what they want, and their limits.

Not to mention, in dating and romantic relationships, boundaries are HOT. Sexy AF.

In healthy organizations and families, respect for limits is just as important.

If you identify as someone who needs to work on boundaries, have compassion for why you have lacked them: because you were afraid to lose people if you didn’t anticipate and pivot around their needs.

That’s what a child does when they’re scared — but you’re not a child anymore. And what the younger version of you needed was an adult, which is what you need to become today to have healthy relationships.

If you want support in creating boundaries and stepping fully into your SELF, my course Rediscover Your Wholeness is about becoming ALL OF YOU. It was made to guide you through the sacred process of rediscovery, step by step. (Use code BOUNDARIES or click here for 25% off.)

To badass boundaries,

Mark