Be met in mutuality

the subtle art of moving past ambivalence

One of the most painful truths that life can present us is that we can love someone so much, and they can still not be ready. They can still not be our person.

Because ambivalence isn’t being ready.

And avoidance isn’t being ready.

And flip-flopping isn’t being ready.

And “I just need time” isn’t being ready.

Because the reality is that your person will choose you back.

If you have to fight, convince, wrangle, manipulate, or do anything other than just be met in mutuality, they’re not your person.

I’m not saying they can’t get there.

But they won’t get there by you continuing to fight for them to see your value.

Because no one changes by being enabled in their pattern.

And you continuing to be in relationship with them doesn’t reject their pattern, it just further reinforces it.

But it eventually becomes wisely understood:

When someone refuses to change, you must change how you relate to them, not changing.

Because if you keep finding yourself with people who can’t choose you or show up for you, the painful truth is that